Remember those toxic people?

So, you know those toxic people I was going on and on about a Here? Well, they are my husband's family. And you know how I said they were coming to visit? They are.

Here's the thing. My husband, whom I love respect and adore...usually, is going to NOT BE HERE for two days while they are visiting. Oh, and the fun part, we only have one car. AND HE IS TAKING IT TWO STATES AWAY! And, there are too many of us to fit into the one car they are bringing. So, that leaves me sitting here babysitting or it leaves us all stuck in the house for two days while my husband, whom I normally respect love and adore, is eating out at restaurants, and sleeping in a big hotel bed alone watching sports in his underwear.

And you know that warm and fuzzy post about how I'm all blessed to stay home and the quiet rhythm of my days and blah blah bla? Not so much today.

And yes, I'll get over this and I know it isn't my husband's fault. I know deep down he truly tried to get out of it and I know he's dreading the whole thing because his loving wife is a raging lunatic right now. I know, if at all possible he would stay home and help me. That he wouldn't leave me here to be put down and slyly insulted without him for the buffer if he could help it. He knows its going to be ugly. I know it's wrong, but he's the only target I've got right now. And I'm angry at the situation and he's the one between me and them at the moment.

In a day or so I'll calm down. I'll make some plans, a few lists and get myself together. Today I'll just cry and shake. When that is over, I'll feel better. I'm sure I'll be back here all optimistic and full of plans for the days. I can already see a light. Today is just not that day.

Today I just want someone to hold me and tell me it will be alright. And it's such a minor thing, them visiting. It is no life tragedy. They just make me feel so bad about my life and always they question our choices. It leaves me hurt, sad and exhausted. I guess in the end I had always just hoped they'd like me. It's such a little thing, I won't hold onto being frustrated about it for long. At some point I'll pull up my big girl panties and try to make the best of it. But for today, I think I'll wallow. And I need chocolate. And I'm stranded.

Yuck.