My husband and I talked last night about making our dreams more flexible. About maybe staying here, buying this house in the city and just getting on with our life. It is hard to give up a dream but at the same time, I felt this HUGE weight lift off my shoulders. I could see us having a wonderful life right here.
I would love to be settled someplace. Go to the same tree farm 6 years in a row for Christmas. Do Christmas at the zoo every year. Make a trip to Chicago for Christmas shopping. (yes, I'm totally obsessed with Christmas right now, sue me)
I would love to learn the ins and outs of the city here. Go to Fall Festivals, Harvest Days, local restaurants. I want to find a park to camp in, one we love and feel comfortable at, at use it to get away on the weekends. To have a few favorite spots.
There are things in our life that we have sacrificed. Things we continue to sacrifice by living a temporary existence. Little things. Like, hanging a tire swing, buying new towels, making traditions.
What if our dream ends up being a 30 year old house on a one acre lot with lots of trees. I can have a huge garden here. I could plant as many flowers as I could stand. Flexible dreams.
It's a good, honest, simple life we could have here. Maybe we aren't city people. We don't have to sell out. We have a camper and a heart for adventure.
But also, I like some things about the city. Crate and Barrel comes to mind right away. Sure I can't afford anything in there but I like to look. There are museums and book stores, restaurants, a football team, tons of colleges, tiny shops, chain stores, and there's a chance for a life here.
If we could stay where we are and not move around. Stay here indefinitely, we could actually pay off our bills, have money for vacations, buy nice clothes, splurge on something special once in a while. It would be such a relief! We could actually make friends, find a church, get involved.
I'm sad on some level about thinking about giving up the farm life dream. At the same time, my heart is light. Not planning a move or thinking about moving, it would feel so good.
2 days ago
1 comment:
We're living in a new place, though we've been here two years already. Lots of it feels like home now, but lots of it feels new. I think that allowing our dreams to grow and change is a good thing. You don't have to give up on the dream. Just be willing to accept that maybe you can't have the dream right now. :) Accepting and working in the right now doesn't in any way mean we can't still dream for the some day.
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