Do you think...

(my bedroom)

Do you think dreams can be fluid things? I know the dreams I had when I was 18 are vastly different than the dreams I have for today. I wouldn't say I gave up on my dreams but just that as I've gotten older they've changed. Maybe become more realistic.

I am glad my dreams have changed. I'm thankful the dreams of an impetuous young woman didn't come true. I wouldn't give up what I've found with my husband and son for any amount of success.

On the other hand, there is something magical about the dreams of the young. They aren't hampered by reality. Everything seems possible. Those dreams are not tempered by disappointment and economic conditions. It's easy to be idealistic. Easy to believe if you work hard and are a good person you'll have success. Easy to believe your life will fall into place and you'll have exactly what you always wanted. When you get older circumstances can work against you. You lose the belief that ANYTHING is possible.

The wonderful thing about human beings though, is that we are adaptable. At least, I think so. I believe that I can turn my current life into my dream life. My current home into my dream home. Sometimes it is hard to realize just how good we have it. It is so easy in this old world to want more, to covet what others have. I'm stubborn and I've not wanted to give up the dreams of my youth.

The truth is though, I have an amazing life. A life of dreams. I have, actually, the very life I dreamed of as a little girl playing dolls and house. And although, I've always always dreamed of living in the country, of having a little piece of land of my own and raising a few animals and a giant garden. That kind of life comes with a price. The land can't be ignored. The animals need constant care. I know that it works for some people. It might have even worked for me.

The thing is, the job situation for my husband is nerve wracking. Will we be able to stay? Will he find something here in the area? Will we have to take a pay cut? Should we look at this as an opportunity to try to move home?

Somehow during all that wondering and worrying, I've realized that I simply want to hold on to and continue to build the life I have. This life RIGHT HERE in this place. I have a new dream. I have the dream of a new life and of the discovery of wonderful things about my new home state. I simply hope that we can settle in and continue with our life here. It's a good thing when you realize you have exactly what you want. I hope we are able to work things out here.

It's a dream come true.