Spring carries hope on the breeze

Happy May Day!

It's a typical Spring Day here in Indiana. It's raining and the temps are just right. I've got the windows open and have been marveling at how GREEN everything is all of the sudden. The big oak in the backyard finally came out and I can't wait to get out there and sit in his shade. I don't know why I think it is a "he." The tree just has that male vibe.

I've been super tired this week but at the same time, not sleeping. It's very frustrating. However, I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in a long time. I just feel hopeful and content. Things with my husband's work seem to be going better this week and we are remaining hopeful that things will turn around. He's gotten some good feedback. Nothing else on the new job front though which is worrisome.

I feel a little like I've been focusing too far into the future. I know that we can't "live only for today" but it's OK sometime to just stop worrying and enjoy the moments around us. J and I used to be very good at just living for the moment. We would let the future take care of itself. I'll admit it was a nice way to live even if it was a bit irresponsible. Over the last year and a half though, things have gotten tougher. I've gotten obsessive about worrying over the future. To the point that I've neglected taking care of today.

I think we just need to merge those two philosophies to create a nice balance for ourselves. So that in our world it's OK to take off for a weekend without worrying ourselves to death about it. But not run out and buy a Mustang GT because we're having a bad week. Yes, we did that. It was grand but sadly the two BIG car payments were too expensive and we finally gave her up last June. We miss her. However, we were paying more in car payments than house payments! On one income!

All in all it's shaping up to be a good summer. If the job holds out and none of us gets the swine flu I think we'll be doing OK. Will the worry over the job and moving go away? Nope. I just hope that we both find a way to pack those worries and stresses away often enough to just laugh, have fun, find joy and enjoy being alive.

Isn't that just as important as anything else? Otherwise, what is the point.