The end is the new beginning...

I can't believe the year is coming to an end. We've had trials and blessings this year. More of either than I can count. I thought about looking back on the year and reflecting but some of those memories are heartbreaking, gut wrenching and discouraging. Some are joy-filled and laugh inducing. I hold the good and the bad in my heart. There is no need to parade them out and relive each moment.

It is, in short, time to move on.

The new year is always a good time to start fresh. I love this time of year. The slate is clean and there is nothing ahead but possibilities. I'd be crazy to think that the year will be perfect and will fall into my plans while going along without a hitch. There will be trials, tears, blessings and laughter in the coming year. My hope is simply that there are more good times than bad and that our family holds together and remains close and loving.

I have specific hopes and goals for the year. Everyone does. I thought about putting them all down and holding myself accountable. However, I don't need that kind of pressure. I don't need to look back in 8 or 9 months and realize I didn't accomplish anything. However, there are a few directions I'd like to prod myself in.

I want to move on. To embrace my new home here in Indiana. To stop looking back, comparing this place we're in to where we've come from.

I want to be much more organized around the house. With school, menus, planning, and tackle one space at a time.

I want my husband and I to stop waiting for our life to happen. To get out there and pursue our dreams. We've stopped dreaming. Granted, our dreams have been knocked around a bit this year. OK, they've been stomped on, tossed around and run over by a truck. But, they are still out there somewhere. I don't want to sit around, though, waiting for those dreams to happen. I want to live our life right now. Out loud. Grab moments of joy and hold them close.

And of course there are all the usual things. Be a better wife and mother, eat better, exercise more...etc...

It's a year full of goals. Always the mystery of how the year will unfold. Where we'll be, what we'll do. It's an exciting time of year. As for me, I'm going to start small. I'm getting a new cut and style. Getting it all cut off. Might as well start the new year off with a change!

Wrapping up the Holiday!

It has been a busy and wonderful couple of weeks around here. My house is in complete disarray. It is clearly not big enough for 7 people and two dogs. Not to mention my son got enough presents to fill the house on his own.

My beef tenderloin was wonderful! I was so very thankful that I didn't ruin it. Next time, I'll add a little more herbs and spices to the "crust" when I sear it for more flavor. Otherwise, it was cooked perfectly and could be cut with a fork. Yay me! It should be noted that the turkey received rave reviews as well. Very tender and moist.

Christmas at someone else house could have real advantages. We may just travel for Christmas next year. I've never seen so much trash and boxes or washed so many dishes. I'm not sure I spent 5 minutes out of the kitchen the entire week. There was always someone to feed or tea to make or the coffee pot was running low. Caffeine was my friend!

I will NEVER and I mean NEVER again go on vacation the week before Christmas. At least not if I am then expecting a house full of company. I have never been so tired, disorganized and running behind for Christmas before.

It's back to reality for us today. J. left for work on time this morning with plans to put in a full day. We're still on break from school, though. I've got to shovel my way through the house and find a place for everything. Also I have a mountain of sheets, blankets and towels to wash. I'm probably going to start taking down decorations tomorrow. We've been decorated for a long time. Plus, we need a little extra ROOM around here.

We plan on spending the nice long New Year's Weekend hanging around under throw blankets and watching movies. I'm going to make some of our favorite snacks. We'll probably play with some of our new games and just enjoy being home. So, that means I've got to get the work done around here.

I hope that you had a WONDERFUL Christmas.

It was fabulous...

We're back from our wonderful fun-filled, WARM vacation. It was amazing. AMAZING. I could turn around a go back right now. We came home to 1 degree temperatures. That's an 80 degree temperature difference.

Anyway, I'm buried in laundry and Christmas preparations. I'll be egg nogging, cookie making, present wrapping and enjoying my own hearth and home.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Back Soon!

Down with unexpected computer problems! I'll be back after Disney World.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Enough with the WalMart Bashing

Anyone but me get aggravated at all the WalMart bashing?

We shop there. A lot. When we lived in WV it was our ONLY option in our small town aside from an overpriced grocery store. I always thought that if we moved, and I had another option, I wouldn't shop there anymore. EVERYONE loves to tell you how awful WalMart is. How terrible they treat their employees. And about the little children working in sweatshops to make this lovely turtleneck for us spoiled Americans. So, I thought I would stand on a higher moral ground if we ever moved where there were more options.

People LOVE to talk about all the OTHER people that shop at WalMart. How they have rat tails and mullets, drive around in scooters, smell, drool, and pick their nose. I always kind of wonder how people know this stuff if they don't shop at WalMart and if they do shop at WalMart if they wonder what other people are saying about them when they get back home. It is an interesting quandary.

So, here I am. A stone's throw from Meijer, SuperTarget, Marsh, Kroger, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Aldi's and various small markets. I have tried them all. Do you want to know where we shop? We drive OUT OF OUR WAY, to shop at the WalMart.

I have shopped every single one of the above stores. They are, in a word, EXPENSIVE!

SuperTarget, Whole Foods, Marsh and Kroger would require a loan to buy two weeks of groceries. Super Target has lots of cute little tins for their spices, LOTS of convenience foods and a teeny tiny meat department. I cook from scratch. I bake. Super Target does NOT fit that. Whole Foods is neat. People around here call it Whole Paycheck. The cashiers stone you if you don't bring reusable bags and they glare at you for using deodorant. Marsh and Kroger are OK on sale stuff but they make their money up charging twice as much for other staples. Trader Joe's is a whole lot of fun. We love going there and buying a couple snacks and some funky cheeses. It's mostly imported items. Kind of fun for a party or a snack night but I can't imagine buying two weeks worth of that stuff. They have some fun simmering sauces but seriously, I could make the same thing for a WHOLE lot less.

Meijer is a bit more competitive. However, in a price to price direct comparison, they lose. And I can't see spending my husband's hard earned money unnecessarily. Why? Why would I pay more for the same product? It is like throwing money in the toilet. So what? So I can say, "I don't shop at WalMart." So I can laugh at the people that do?

I hate to tell you WalMart bashers this, I've seen mullets, nose pickers, smelly scooter riders and lousy customer service at SuperTarget, Meijer, Marsh, Kroger, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods (admittedly it was the cashier who was smelly...deodorant isn't "green") and Aldi's. Have you ever tried to return anything to Target. My Word! Why don't they just fingerprint us and be done with it.

Frankly, times are tough for a lot of people. Anything that takes the sting out of that is welcome in my book. We're doing a lot better than we have in a long time. That doesn't mean, though, that I am comfortable spending more for the same stuff. And I do see the moral dilemma of doing business with a company when you are not comfortable with their practices. I really do. I applaud you. I can't really afford to shop on my principles at the moment, but if you can, that is great.

HOWEVER, please leave your "moral superiority" at the door. Please stop telling me how awful WalMart is. Please stop making fun of the people that shop there. Because if you don't, and you are complaining about how you can't afford to go on vacation, how it "must be nice" to afford to go to Disney every couple of years or the beach or camping, cabins and weekenders, I'm going to tell you how exactly, we afford those things. It's called a budget. And shopping smarter. That bag of sugar you were complaining costing you $3 was $1.87 at my WalMart. Oh, those $1.99 eggs? $.88 for me. Your $3.59 milk? I paid $2.49.

And I will gladly defer to my "couponing", sale shopping friends. They will hit 3 or 4 stores in a day and get the best deals on everything. I applaud them their diligence! They will save more money than me for sure! I choose not to spend that kind of time nor do I have that level of commitment. I would if I had to, though. I certainly don't put them down or make fun of their system for shopping and the places they chose to do business. You go girls!

You'll find me every other week at WalMart. I'll be in line behind the scooter-lady who is buying cigarettes from the guy in the mullet. These are my people.

A change of heart...

So, I spent last night thinking about what I wrote yesterday and I realized something. The truth is, I LIKE the stuff we have. And that the stuff itself isn't what makes me happy. However, all that stuff, brings my family together. A lot. We have times where we play the Wii together and laugh and give each other a hard time. We watch family movies on our big TV. J. and I snuggle up on the couch for "date night" and watch movies together. And the usefulness of the GPS is without question.

Yes, my boy will get way too much stuff for Christmas. But, he's a wonderful child. He's loving and thankful and so well behaved. A few extra gifts from people that love and miss him won't change that. And it brings them untold joy. My Aunt and Uncle lost their oldest son the year I got married. They absolutely adore Nicholas. They have a lot of hard times in their lives. Things I can't even begin to understand. If they want to buy my boy something extra special because "he's such a special kid." I will not deny that.

The truth is, we haven't been able to splurge on things for a long time. Not since we were first married. My husband has been totally spoiling me the last month or so. And you know what? I kind of like it. I think he likes doing it. He gives me a hard time about all the things I've gotten BEFORE Christmas even. He works hard and I think it makes him happy to be able to buy more than the basics once in a while. We've gotten little else but the basics for years. And for years we only bought for the house. It helps that I'm one of those women who is thrilled with new pots and pans and furniture. I like sparkly jewelry as much as the next girl, though. We've been eating out too much, too. Again though, for years we had to wait for my Mom to invite us out so we could afford to go. And if we're splurging a little bit right now, I don't think it's TOO much of a bad thing.

We know that things have to slow down after Christmas. We'll be snuggling down and hibernating for the winter after New Years. At least we'll have a house full of stuff to keep us occupied! I'll have about 1000 Disney Pictures to sort through.

And come spring, you'll find us in our camper, no TV or computer. Just us, some fishing poles and some sturdy walking shoes. And we'll find the balance.

I'm tired.

Weary.

I'm so tired of the ads, giant televisions, gps units, video games. I'm burned out. We have each one of these things and they bring a lot of fun into our lives. Even this laptop which I treasure as my connection to the outside world and an invaluable homeschool tool. I panic at the thought of being without it. And yet, it is a leech of my time so many days.

Everyone is so greedy. There is SO MUCH STUFF to want. And I'm as guilty as the next person. I want a bigger house, nicer kitchen, big family room. I love sparkly jewelry and shiny electronics. I secretly covet designer purses even while I claim I could "never spend that much on a purse."

It's just that right now, I'm sick of it all. My son is getting SO MUCH STUFF for Christmas. It's like a child's dream on steriods. I know it's because we moved away. I know people miss us and WANT to buy him things to make up for it. It's bordering on overkill, though. How can he even appreciate the thoughtfull gifts we'll give him when he's surrounded by so many wrapped packages. I'm not even sure where it will all go.

And it leaves me wondering. If he gets everything he ever mentions in passing, what is left for him to want? What is left for him to work for? Will he ever see that not everyone gets everything they ever wanted. No, I don't want him disappointed but at the same time, I'm longing for a simple family holiday. Thoughtfull gifts bought from hard work. The sad thing is that I know half the STUFF will be broken in a month. Toys just aren't made that well anymore.

But I would not deny him this Christmas. I could NEVER suggest to my Mom that she not buy for him. It would KILL her. He is her hobby. I would never in a million years take that joy away from her or suggest she save that money for something else. I just couldn't do it. Maybe it makes me weak. I don't know. I just couldn't do that to her. She would be so hurt.

So, I'm left trying to figure out how to balance all this stuff in our lives. I'm left trying to figure out how to teach my son that simple is OK. I'm trying to teach him this while we're watching our big TV, driving around with our GPS and blogging on the laptop.

It's not that he even realizes he's spoiled. He's as grateful for a $1 Hot Wheel as he is for a Wii. But, therein lies part of the problem. He really has no concept of the difference in those things. However, he's a sweet boy. He's thankful for what he has and what he gets. It leaves me though, wondering what his Dad and I can give him that stands out. The only answer I have is time together. Instead of gifts in the coming year, I'm going to focus on time and experiences together. Once the toys are long broken and forgotten, those memories will last a life time.

I, however, am still tired of all the fancy electronics and the quest to own the biggest, newest and best of them all. I'm appalled that in the tough economic times we are facing that people are still buying things they can't afford. I'm disgusted with the big corporations looking for government handouts. I'm even aggravated with myself for all the things I want. Deep down though, all I really want is a quiet simple life. I want to step out on my porch on a silent morning and watch the deer stroll by. I want to watch a blanket of snow cover the woods around me. The unfortunate part is that if I were to step out on my porch early in the morning I would not see deer. Cars driving too fast and sirens ALL THE FREAKING TIME, yes. Deer...no.

If I have to live in and near the city, this is as good a place as any. Still my heart longs for quiet and stillness of the country.

I long for time outside strolling in the snowy woods with my family. For my son to foster that love of the outdoors. For him to learn that unplugging is not a bad thing. I have no solution to all the stuff we're all getting this Christmas. I don't even know how to NOT want it. All I know is that I will be grateful for the gifts even as we are once again buried under all the stuff in our lives. When the day comes I'll be joyful and happy. I'll love watching my boys face when he opens his gifts. It will be a wonderful day. And I'll hold out hope that the coming year will bring more balance to our lives.

Home to West Virginia?

We had a pretty good Thanksgiving in West Virginia. My Mom and I did a lot of shopping and Oh, the eating. I could live on water and air for a couple weeks and be happy for it. I know FOR SURE I don't want to eat out any time soon.

My little one got sick Thursday night and was throwing up for the rest of the weekend. He still went hunting, though! He would just get sick in the evenings. It seems to have finally run its course and he woke up this morning asking for pancakes. It is a good thing, he was very close to being dragged to doctor. He hadn't had anything to eat since Friday.

I was pretty sad when we left WV to come home. It was really hard. I had such a good time hanging out with everyone and seeing the mountains and just relaxing. The atmosphere is just so different. The people are much more, well, like us. Frankly, we ENJOY hanging out with "good ole country folk." It bothers me a lot around here when people act like we "escaped" the backwoods or something equally dire.

I read West Virginia Magazine while I was in. The focus of the issue was "Home for the Holidays...for Good." It was all about people who left WV for one reason or another and found a way to come home. It talked about family, the mountains, the parks and outdoors and all the wonderful parts of WV. It was totally lacking in all the reasons we CAN'T go home. I kept reading it and thinking, find us a job. A job that pays well and is secure and we'd be back in a minute. I was sad reading it and then angry. They made me want to come home. Something I've been fighting for over a year. And I've been doing it very well, thankyouverymuch.

I KNOW we can't go back. At least not yet. Professional jobs are scarce in WV. And when they are there, they don't pay very much. I went to the grocery store with my Mom and was SHOCKED at the prices. I had forgotten how expensive everything could be. Eggs were $.50 more a dozen, milk $1 more, and meat was crazy expensive. Why, in one of the poorest states in the nation, is everything so much more expensive? My husband says it has to do with the ability to get things into the state.

On the up side, it made me appreciate, a LOT the things we have here. Groceries are a lot less here. It really is nice not to have to drive 1/2 an hour just to get to a mall or restaurant. Takeout. Starbucks. And also, I really love our house and yard. It's flat!

We are happy here. When I pulled in the driveway and came in the house, I felt warm and welcome. I felt at home. I miss WV terribly and some day I really hope we can go back. I really do. I miss the mountains, people on 4-wheelers, cammo clothing, neighbors that actually talk to you, country roads, and my family. I don't miss the contaminated drinking water (seriously, they were studying our county to see how the C8 affected us), polluted rivers and the "shelter in place" calls from all the chemical plants. I don't miss the acid in the rain from the chemical plants eating the paint off the car. I don't miss the expensive groceries.

I'd like to go back to WV some day. Probably not back to Charleston and the sourrounding valley. Maybe Morgantown. I know it will be a while. Right now, I like that we can afford to go on vacation, buy a few extra groceries, and can get and do a few extra things during the year. My husband's job is thriving and he is thriving. He's not constantly being beaten down by lack of work and lack of funding. For now, this works for us. The sacrifice we'd have to make to go home is too great.

I do want to make more of an effort to get into WV to see family. I refuse to let a few hours get between all of us. My family LOVES our son to pieces. Aunts, uncles, cousins all adore him. And I've been letting a few hours of driving get in the way of that.

Now, if you happen to be from WV and are trying to get home, here's as good a place to start as any. It was in the magazine. Home To West Virginia.

As for us, we're planning a week-long camping trip to the WV mountains this summer, a cabin on the South Fork of the Potomac river in the Fall with a trip to Cass Railroad, and possibly a skiing trip to Snowshoe next winter. We're going to enjoy the best parts of WV without the sacrifice it would take to move back. For now.