I have a few toxic people in my life. People that can never see the good or the beautiful in any situation. Also, they're family. And, they're coming to visit.
They say things, oh not in a mean way, but in a way that lets you know how they really feel. Last time they were here one of them said, "it would take $50,000 just to make this house livable." OK, now, lest you think this house is a dump or a shack, let me explain. It is a brick ranch probably on the wrong side of 30. It's solid. It has a new electrical system, new furnace and A/C, and a few updates. It was partially updated by the owners before they moved. There are some rooms that could use a little paint and elbow grease. What it doesn't have is a garden tub or a walk in closet or granite counter tops.
To these people, those things should be standard. They would never have wire shelves at the foot of their bed to hold the overflow from the closet. And they are sure to find ways to let you know that. Our clothes are never nice enough. They don't understand why we live on one income and give up so many extras to do it.
They have never ever approved of a single decision we have ever made. Ever. Not when we got engaged, married, pregnant, moved, rented a house, bought a house, took a vacation, homeschooled....nothing. Ever.
When I know their coming to visit. I panic. Last time they were here we took them places and they complained that we were too busy. So, if we just sit around the house this time I suppose they'll be bored.
I'm not sure what I want from them. I guess I just want them to see that our life is OK. It's OK to shop on a budget, not eat out 4 times a week and to do things a little differently. I KNOW they come from humbler beginnings. They struggled to raise a family and lived in a small house. I'm not sure where the venom comes from.
I hope that this visit goes better than the last. I'm not going to plan anything big to do. Maybe if they see that we can just be home and be happy, they'll learn something about our lives. I'm not asking them to change their own life, just to accept and stop putting us down for ours.
2 days ago