Happy

I love my life. I may not always like how things turn out around me or where I am or where I think I'm headed. However, my life in general is pretty awesome.

I realized today that I truly enjoy the gentle and quiet rhythm that runs through my days. Up to fix my husband's lunch, maybe some breakfast, have my coffee or tea and some quiet time, start some laundry, clean up some dishes, pick up anything left out over night, N. wakes up, we make pancakes and turkey bacon for Monday morning, spend some time having school, laugh over a silly book, wipe his tears when he's frustrated trying to read, play a game together, have some lunch, do our own thing in the afternoon, spend some time on the couch watching a cooking show and snuggling, cook dinner, play a family game of Wii or watch J. and N. play a game on the Wii, story time, grins and giggles.

Then bedtime and snuggle time with the husband. It's a GOOD life. One I wouldn't trade for anything.

I love that I stay home and the freedom that it gives me. I love that we home school and how it fits our family. And it isn't because there is anything so terrible at public school. It's just that it fits us. I love my son's personality. I love that our days are spent together. I love finding out what truly interests him and exploring those rabbit trails with him.

Sure, there are things that need to change. More time exercising, more time with nature, more time with God. Not necessarily in that order. I could be a better wife. I could be a better mother. And I really need a better hair cut.

I have to make trade-offs in my life to stay home. New clothes are a luxury for me. I don't go out to lunch with "the girls." Actually, being in a new city I don't even have "girls" yet. I don't see many movies at the theater (that's my entire grocery budget for a 2 hours of so-so entertainment). And being a home school Mom adds another layer. Time alone for me usually comes one night a week when I stay up late and send everyone to bed.

But, when you come right down to where the rubber meets the road, I love it. I love tying on an apron and doing some serious work in the kitchen. I love that sometimes before my husband even says hi to me he says, "boy, it smells good in here!" when he walks through the door. So what if I don't have a a few extras.

The sweetness of my life, the contented lives of my husband and son, a home that has life lived IN it, are so worth it.

I'm happy.

The STOVE

One of my biggest hurdles in my bid to be the happy housewife...the stove. The thing is disgusting. It isn't fit for humans. I have to cook on it day in and day out. It is becoming my nemesis. I have to create loving nutritious meals on a 30 year old stove that has never been cleaned. The inside of the oven is so nasty. I've try chiseling the black stuff off. Nothing works. It bakes unevenly. My job is taking care of my family. One of my biggest tasks is cooking for them. How can one turn out culinary masterpieces from THIS:
Often I'm not cheerful about taking care of this home. It's a rental. And being a rental they don't really see the need to provide top of the line appliances. Also, don't you LOVE the fake brick? It's coming back in fashion. I'm just ahead of the game.

I love it here and wish it were my own. We had our own home before this and there was just a different feel to taking care of things. This is something I must get past in order to be content here. We'll probably be here for several years. I want to grow flower gardens and plant perennials. I hate feeling temporary. So, I'm looking for ways to do the things I want and make this a real home for our family. I'd buy this house if I could. There is over an acre here. The flowers I could grow!!! The veggies! I would update things and paint things and pull weeds, add gardens, trim trees. But, I can't.

In the mean time, I'll just do what I can to make it a loving and cozy home for my family. Maybe Santa will bring me a new stove. In the mean time I can channel all my displeasure into my feelings for The Stove.

A Housewife

I have a goal. I want to be an old fashioned Housewife. Yup. Unfortunately, I don't have the figure or the budget for the tiny waisted form fitting dresses of the 1950s. I can't sew. Cutting a pattern makes my eye start twitching.

I'm teaching myself to knit, though. Please don't laugh. I have a tangled mess of yarn and a lot of determination. I will prevail!

I do a lot of cooking at home. More lately since we are tightening the budget. I love to cook. I do wish I could get two men here to be a little more adventurous. We favor simple old-fashioned meals. There is certainly nothing wrong with that.

I really never wanted a career. I only want a home and a family. (And the occasional trip to Disney World...is that too much to ask!!!) I think a woman is capable of great things but I don't feel like accomplishing any of them right now. I love being domesticated. It is my choice and my right to stay home and follow in the footsteps of generations of women before me. I like the sense of history in the things I do. And I really AM accomplishing great things. Quietly and without a lot of fanfare.