Bittersweet...

Today is a little bittersweet for me. N is going off to Grandmas for two weeks. He's excited and I'm excited for him. However, this is the last day he'll be running around this big ole yard. I'm watching him on the swings. He's singing. And swinging. Two of his favorite things. He's happy and carefree.

I'm consumed with the changes ahead of us. Excited, scared and nervous all rolled into a big ball of energy. He's just...happy. Happy he's going on an adventure. Happy he's moving to a bigger home.

We didn't do big good-byes with friends around here. Or say things like, "this is your last time to do X or Y." I didn't want him to worry and fret about the future. I'm doing enough of that for everyone.

As I watch him I think of all the dreams we dreamed here. The trials we went through and the life we tried so hard to build. We worked and worked to build a life, to make a home, to find contentment. I look at it now and think maybe it wasn't meant to be so much work. Maybe home and life just, happens.

Now we embark on a new life. Full of possibilities that we never dreamed we'd have. We know that we'll have to change. It's a whole new game from this point. I want to retain the best of who we are but yet to embrace what is coming.

I pray that we at least go away from here with happy memories and the knowledge that we have done what we thought was best. Most of all, I hope to leave the regrets behind.